16 Feb Letter to my EX
Dear John DC
Oh how I cherished our time together at many an outside beer garden, music festival or just hangin’ around at home. You tasted better when you were chilled but I loved you all the same straight from the can.
Don’t you agree that a loving relationship is best based on honesty and I’m sad to say that your first name deceived me right from the start for many, many years. I truly thought I was opting for the healthy one, choosing you over your original. But then I got savvy, I did my research.
You filled me with artificial sweeteners, which confused my body into storing fat as my insulin kicked-in. Where was the diet help in this?! More than that, these sugar imposters were posing as well-known chronic illness triggers. How could you?
Little did I know that you were slowly and secretly eroding my teeth what with your citric acid of yours. I thought you loved my smile….
You offer me no nutrients of value. I’ve sussed you out DC. So, I‘m here to bid you my final goodbye. Farewell my past love. I was young and naïve then.
By the way… I have a new found love in someone you used to mock as boring. I disagree.
DB 4 H20